542 Pounds.
I know exactly how I got here.
It was all those late night trips to Wawa. 3AM and I’m still playing a video game and I’m kind of feeling sad or frustrated so I drive to Wawa to fill my stomach with 20 minutes of happiness.
Meatball sandwich. Classic Roll. Extra American cheese. Large side of Macaroni and cheese. Pint of Ben & Jerry’s for desert and 2-3 Diet Mountain Dews to wash it down with. Because, you know, when you’re consuming 2500 calories in a single sitting, the Diet Soda makes it ok.
I’m such an idiot. I’m so angry at my self for doing this. Sure, I was sad over a girl. I was sad I didn’t do well in college. I was sad about a lot of things. But I had so much. I only weighed like 275 at that point. I was within 50 pounds of 225, the weight I was happiest at.
In high school, back at 225, I played football and did Track & Field (Field, really). I could run up and down the bleachers, I could do sprints.
Now I have to buy a scale they could weigh a horse on just to get a grip on what a massive fatass I’ve become.
I’m sorry that I sound so negative. I cried in front of my father. I was just so sad about this.
I bought this scale to keep track of how well I was doing. I gave up on fast food on February 22nd. I gave my father my credit and debit cards. I only ate home made food. I started to exercise on my Schwinn 230 Exercise Bike. Started at 5 minutes, now I’m up to 15. Today was the first day I tracked my calories over at FitDay. 1871 in case you are wondering. I read this guide to dieting that was recommended to me the other day. According to it I need more calories from protein.
Anyway, so today I was going to see where I was at. I was thinking 400. Maybe 425 on the outside.
542. I don’t know how I’m going to do this. And work. And go back to school. While still having any sense of joy in my life.
But I have to try, I don’t want to die.
Why is this named One Last Sandwich? Because of all the other times I thought I wanted to die, I would have one “final sandwich”. It was never the last one.
I didn’t this time.
